Sunday, December 30, 2007

Cheapstakes and Regifting

Yesterday, I, Lady K and my co-lingerie ladies were taken way way way aback.
A seemingly very lovely customer came to return a pair of PJs -- basic tank and floral print bottoms. It was a legit gift because all the tags were attached and the customer was nonchalant.

My co-lady didn't recognize the tags though they did belong to the store. With one look, I knew the tag was OLD, real OLD. I read the tag and realized this poor custy's "friend" gave a gift originally bought on November 27, 2004 for $11. Yes, it's 2007 and it probably costs $11 to drive and park. If that was a good friend who gave her that - shame on them. Don't give a gift then you punk! Save the embarrassment. Buy her a cake. Bake her a cake. Food gifts are cheap and very acceptable for holidays.

If you are going to regift, then take the damn tags off. Better yet, don't regift any type of apparel. I have friends who regift candles and bottles of wine -- actually acceptable. If you are a cheapstake or I mean, a regifter, then you must start a registry so you don't regift to the actual giver. Play it smart not tacky.

Regifting kills...

Thursday, December 27, 2007

Ho..no..

The holidays bring out the best in people --love, kindness, sharing, caring.

And the worst in us --holey moley pants!!!! I spied a young woman proudly walking around with her left jean pocket fully ripped out. Her flannel boxers were fully exposed. WTF! 80s rock is over.
Exposing underwear is just not attractive, ripped jeans are just as bad as low hanging baggy jeans.

Another worst in us (not me) -- white wife beater with black bra. again the 80s are over. It's a tacky look that never worked unless you were at a Poison concert. So, unless there's a reunion concert, don't wife beat anything.

Yet, another worst -- along with tacky wife beater, the offender wore Zubaz pants (google it) adorned with Jack Daniel emblems. She was young and cute. With the outfit, she was yucky and tacky.

I like individualism but sometimes I don't.

-K

Thursday, December 20, 2007

Reminder - no to ho'

If you have any visible holes in your bras or panties, toss 'em away, far far away.
My fellow lingerie ladies and I have seen a resurgence in holey moley underwear. Stop the madness. Your mother may have told you to wear clean underwear. I'M telling you to wear non-holey undies (bras, too). We see women in power suits with GMO dogs in Gucci bags that costs more than many third worlds' GNP. These women have holey undies, busted bras, and dumb excuses for not upping their undie game. Shame!!!!!!!

In case you're in an accident, the ER staff won't be horrified that you have holey underwear.

Brasitter

I had a custy who refused to buy a bra without my consent. This woman was married, she was someone's mother. This woman makes full grown very adult decisions. She carried a big Louis Vuitton bag. She gave birth to someone. And yet she has no say in her undergarments. I do?

That's insanity, people, insanity. I cannot be in your house to help you dress everyday (unless you pay me). Please be a woman about your bras, if you've been schooled by a good lingerie lady, if you think it fits, then it fits. Shut up and buy it.

Another robe?

Robes are a great go to gift for most holidays revolving around cold weather. But it's a damn boring, non-creative gift. Get her something fun for goodness sakes. A robe is not fun. Repeat, not fun. Unless, your lady's robe is tore up and more than two years old, don't buy her a new robe. And if you have a sexy, trendy, hot lady in your life, then don't buy anything that has cartoony prints on it. It will be returned.

If you are going to buy a robe anyway, then throw in some sexy thongs, body paint, chocolates, or a winter getaway with it. Fun. Fun. Fun. It may be cold but body heat beats any robe.

Holiday Hoopla

Well, it's been awhile. Lady E has been surfing the job market for life outside the thong. I, K, on the other hand have been bombarded with retail insanity during this holiday season. Custies have been frantic this week for the perfect Christmas gift. Let me tell you now, fuzzy robes, flannel PJs, cozy socks are not the perfect gift. If you have to rush in, freak out, and grab what's available because your loved one may like it, then it's not the perfect gift. As a retailer, I truly believe Christmas in America is a commercial holiday with no spirit in it. I may make money during this period, but I also have to pray that my custies and their recipients don't return their gifts for cash. Because I will be screwed with reverse commission. So, the lingerie ladies rather have you give cash or something else then "the perfect" lingerie gift. Don't lead us on...